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Showing posts with label Love and Relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love and Relationships. Show all posts

Candid Talk || On Friendships.

Friday, 14 August 2015
Started writing this a while back and only just completing it.


I've been wanting to write about friendships for a while now because you see this friendship thing is my achilles heel.

For as long as I can remember, I've been seeking a friend for the end of the world but it hasn't quite worked out.

No, I don't mean the type of friendship where we both hang out together and look like #friendshipgoals in pictures.
I'm talking about the real deal :
The I can talk to you about my four A.M thoughts and we're there to support each other type.
The we can laugh, cry, argue, and most importantly talk about anything and everything type.

That's what I'm about : Quality friendships...

I'm a bit of a mush ball even though I don't know how to show it so when I care about someone, I tend to give it my all and every little thing that's not said or done affects me.
I usually end up emotionally stressed ( Oh, you thought only boy-girl relationships can give you emotional stress? welcome to my world) because the other person isn't vibing on my level.

I recently decided to stop investing emotionally in one of my supposedly best girls because I realized that we weren't quite on the same page even though we've known each other for years now.
I wanted deeper conversations and a more quality friendship but you can't force that on someone right?

I like to think that I've been real unlucky in this friendship department and on some days this fact takes its toll on me but I'm definitely more in control of my emotions now.

I think the whole point of this post is me slowly coming to the realization that I really shouldn't stress and its probably one of those things that should just happen on its own so I've let it go.

I'll probably still have moments when I wish my life was a circus filled with people, laughter and real talks but I'm learning to connect more with myself, to learn myself and try not to overthink things.

All I really ever needed was a squad but If this is what I get, then I got this.

I'll just take this opportunity to appreciate my friend Shaenk (although he's a guy and I'm more interested in female friendships lol) for being so good to me, for vibing on my level and being absolutely present! You're gold.

If you have such friends in your life, tag them in this and give them a shout out/appreciate them in the comments. You've got gold. :)

Pictures by @chikadbia

P.S - I was a bit undecided on whether to use candid talk' in the post title seeing as I plan to start a feature series with that title soon. I guess this is me asking y'all to please accept the repitition in advance

Are All Men Really The Same?

Thursday, 15 January 2015
I've been meaning to write about this since last year when a friend used that line in a conversation we were having but somehow I just kept on pushing it away but today is my personal 1st Timothy 3 man's birthday and I can't help but be thankful for this awesome man and all the wisdom, growth and amazing lessons I've learnt from him.

One of which is : No! All men are not the same! We girls just need to do better really because we can't keep doing the same things and expecting change.

What exactly are the things you look out for in a man?
If you had asked me two years ago, I probably would have given the same nondescript reply of "anyone that can make me happy" but I found out first hand that even that isn't enough.
Warsan Shire couldn't have put it better up there really. We have to re-evaluate the quality of guys we are holding it down with Tbh.

In case you're wondering what I meant by " 1st Timothy 3 Man", that's the reply I'll give you now if you should ask me that same question.
One of my favourite Christian bloggers "Inthe" wrote about that and you can read it here

What do you guys think? Are all guys really the same?

Cassandra Ikegbune
P.S - Happy Birthday Mr. A! May your path forever be filled with light.

Flash Back || When Moving Forward Means Leaving The Past Behind

Friday, 28 November 2014
Flash Back...

To a time when everything felt so complicated and life seemed hell bent on breaking me down.

I haven't been doing a lot of reminiscing lately but the other night I let the music take me back,
The rain is falling on my window pane
But we are hiding in a safer place
Under covers staying safe and warm
You give me feelings that I adore
With every word Colbie Caillat uttered, I let my thoughts wander
and I stayed there cowering and letting the memories wash over me.

What's it with we humans and pain anyways?
Why exactly do we look backwards instead of enjoying the now and focusing on the beautiful things that lie ahead?

I'm not sure but here's to moving on and letting go of the past,
To revelling in the now,
And to the beauty of second chances.

Cassandra Ikegbune

The Thing About Love

Saturday, 8 March 2014
You know the thing about love? 
It hits you when you least expect, and all of a sudden you can feel yourself drifting. 
No.. It's more like floating and you keep wondering when you even got off the ground. 
The irony here is what I love most about love is also the very thing I hate about it because when you are above the ground and floating, you have no control over yourself anymore but its a good feeling. Oh yes, its a good feeling.  Floating I mean.
And If you ever have to lose control, i hope its with someone worth losing it for....

Cassandra Ikegbune

On Settling

Tuesday, 4 February 2014

I've had this post in my draft for a while now. It was written during a period I felt all confused and what-not , I haven't obtained maximum clarity yet but the air sure does feel a little clearer over here these days.

You know that point in your single life where you finally get tired of being the only one amongst your friends without a "Le boo"? Where you just finally want someone you can call your own too? Yes! that point! I know how confusing it can get and how its so easy to give up all your set values and settle with just anyone you feel you have a little connection with. Society doesn't even make it easy these days, its like everyone wants to know who you are dating and why you are not dating. Meh
I don't believe in mediocre relationships at all. I don't believe in dating for just dating sake.
But it wasn't always like this. I also got to that break point and I settled!
You see, the thing about loneliness is that it grabs at you in the deepest places, taunts you till you succumb to whatever to find temporary release.
If you are like me, you start getting this messed up idea that maybe if you find someone, it will all get better. So it starts with wrong choices of friends, just to feel that closeness to someone and then wrong relationship choices.
Nope! That won't make you  feel better.
I finally realized that no one can walk in and just fill up that void in me. It was like an epiphany, an Eureka moment. So I just stopped hoping on things and people and started saying more "Thank you Lord" because His plans for me are always plans of good, to give me a future and hope.

Never settle for less than you deserve because it was convenient. Its better to be lonely now than be in a relationship and still be lonely.  Don't waste your best years on a relationship that should have never began. Never rush into anything, take your time and reflect deeply. The answers are within you 90percent of the time. You know what you want, its right there.
No settling allowed! You deserve a loving, caring and healthy relationship!

  Some quotes that helped me rethink when I was stuck in that situation

"My alone feels so good, I'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude." - Warsan Shire

“This is what I know. Don't settle for 40, 50, or even 80 percent. A relationship-it shouldn't be too small or too tight or even a little scratchy. It shouldn't take up space in your closet out of guilty conscience or convenience or a moment of desire. Do you hear me? It should be perfect for you. It should be lasting. Wait. wait for 100 percent.” ― Deb Caletti,

"Until you get comfortable with being alone, you'll never know if you're choosing someone out of love or loneliness" - Mandy Hale

P.S - I know you've heard this a million times but we really should learn to be patient with God and wait for his opinion on whatever we want to do even if it takes a while for Him to give a go

P.P.S - Amazing men still exist. I know, God gave me one. :D

Cassandra Ikegbune

Start of something new

Monday, 16 September 2013

So after what seems like a life time of being single, being your own hero and locked into your shell, you finally decide that maybe it's time to move on and make new memories. You didn't know this before, but then you meet someone who might just be worth it. He is not movie star handsome but looks have never been your principle focus. He tries his best to make you smile and that's all that you are really after right? Love, laughter and Moments, beautiful moments. But then the fear creeps in, fear and another emotion you can't define just yet. You are almost afraid to open up your flaws to yet another person and watch them slowly come to realize that you really aren't all sunshine and bright smiles, almost afraid the picture of what love should look/feel like that you have in your head might not come to realization.

What do you do then?
Run? Wait for something that might never come? Just go for it?

Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will- Steven Rodgers.

Note to Self. 

I've finally decided to stroll into this future with just my hopes and dreams. No worries. Que sera sera.

Cassandra Ikegbune

This Thing Called Love

Thursday, 1 August 2013

This thing called Love,
Oh how I long to feel it
To someday lose myself in another 
Without fear of being shattered
To breathe the air they breathe
All hearts and Flowers
That feeling of euphoria 

This thing called Love
Oh how scary it looks
Emotions running deep
I just can't handle it
I'll rather not handle it
Afraid to let go, afraid to lose myself
The very thing I also want
Ball of conflicting voices
Though It may seem that I'm better off alone
And I act like I'm as tough as can be
When the sun goes down and the moon comes up
the voices in my head come alive
And sometimes the tears pour down
I long to feel 
To have another hold me, Shield me. Keep me safe and whole 
To love and be loved

Oh this thing called Love
This crazy thing called Love. 

---Cassandra Ikegbune

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