Started writing this a while back and only just completing it.
I've been wanting to write about friendships for a while now because you see this friendship thing is my achilles heel.
For as long as I can remember, I've been seeking a friend for the end of the world but it hasn't quite worked out.
No, I don't mean the type of friendship where we both hang out together and look like #friendshipgoals in pictures.
I'm talking about the real deal :
The I can talk to you about my four A.M thoughts and we're there to support each other type.
The we can laugh, cry, argue, and most importantly talk about anything and everything type.
That's what I'm about : Quality friendships...
I'm a bit of a mush ball even though I don't know how to show it so when I care about someone, I tend to give it my all and every little thing that's not said or done affects me.
I usually end up emotionally stressed ( Oh, you thought only boy-girl relationships can give you emotional stress? welcome to my world) because the other person isn't vibing on my level.
I recently decided to stop investing emotionally in one of my supposedly best girls because I realized that we weren't quite on the same page even though we've known each other for years now.
I wanted deeper conversations and a more quality friendship but you can't force that on someone right?
I like to think that I've been real unlucky in this friendship department and on some days this fact takes its toll on me but I'm definitely more in control of my emotions now.
I think the whole point of this post is me slowly coming to the realization that I really shouldn't stress and its probably one of those things that should just happen on its own so I've let it go.
I'll probably still have moments when I wish my life was a circus filled with people, laughter and real talks but I'm learning to connect more with myself, to learn myself and try not to overthink things.
All I really ever needed was a squad but If this is what I get, then I got this.
I'll just take this opportunity to appreciate my friend Shaenk (although he's a guy and I'm more interested in female friendships lol) for being so good to me, for vibing on my level and being absolutely present! You're gold.
Pictures by @chikadbia
P.S - I was a bit undecided on whether to use candid talk' in the post title seeing as I plan to start a feature series with that title soon. I guess this is me asking y'all to please accept the repitition in advance