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Weekend Bits And Things...

Wednesday, 30 September 2015
If you're subscribed to my blog's newsletter (subscribe here yo!), then you would have received one of my lovely new post update emails where i also mentioned that I had quite a bit of activities planned for the long break but with no one to go with. Well, all that changed eventually and here's what I got up to this holiday break.

- On thursday, I had planned to go for a shoe store viewing event on thursday but with the rain and all, I just ended up heading to my uncle's house and chilling with my small cousins.

- I had my catwalk classes back to back from friday to sunday and I'm real happy to say that I finally finished the first edition of my catwalk workshop.
I can't wait to share all the details with you in a blog post, but for now please follow our official page @cassiedavescatwalkclasses on instagram for updates and to watch some of the videos.

- On friday, I went for an art exhibition at freedom park after my catwalk class but not before stopping at KFC to grab a quick lunch and ice cream.
One of the artists exhibiting is a partner in a group I'm in but I had never met her in person so I wasn't sure who she was. When I eventually realized she was the one I had been exchanging eye contacts with, it was too awkward to go say hi. Lol! She probably thinks I'm a snub now *sigh*
But why can't other people come say hi though? (Fear of being snubbed?)
I loved Eloghosa Osunde's little bits of poetry in addition to her exhibition and I plan to still do a poetry feature on her soon. The quote in the picture was the one I used as my opening quote in this post on staying true to yourself.

- On Saturday, I hooked up with a new friend I met on twitter, she's Cameroonian and was in Nigeria for a short holiday. I wasn't sure what to expect though, my sister said she'll probably have a funny african accent. Lool but nah, she sounded quite Nigerian and is a really cool person. Not only is she pretty but her vibe is also pretty ( Yes to new friends?! Yes!)
We went to the Dolce and Gabanna velvet collection launch (perfume) at the palms. I was a bit dissapointed sha because I wore heels (and y'all know I'm not exactly a huge fan of wearing heels), only to get there to find that it was a sort of casual event sef and wasn't even held in the store proper. Thankfully I met some of my fellow bloggers there (Mide, Tuke, Tosin and Deola), took some blog pictures, had the nicest cupcake and left with a goodie bag.
Their brand manager is like the nicest person ever, she was so warm and welcoming!

- Also stopped by at the diesel store in lekki for the art exhibition they were having in collaboration with Re.Le on saturday after the Dolce and Gabanna event. That place felt so unwelcoming! My God! We just took mirror selfies and left

- I spent my sunday teaching my catwalk class and then just going home to rest afterwards.

- Monday isn't technically 'Weekend' but I hooked up with my friend again and we planned to go to hans and rene for ice cream but ended up going to Maison Fahrenheit for lunch and then hans and rene afterwards.
I plan to still do a review of hans and rene and that's why I didn't share lots of pictures from there, but not quite interested in doing a full review on maison fahrenheit but I liked the view, the service was a bit slow plus the waiters weren't paying much attention to us, the burger cost 3000Naira, came with the fries as a side and the strawberry smoothie (which was really nice) was 2000Naira.

I know its a bit too late to be asking how your weekend went but I'll like to read what you got up to nonetheless and also what you plan to get up to with this coming holiday.
Also, congrats on getting through half of the week and I hope its been good so far?

Blogging || On Staying True To Yourself.

Sunday, 27 September 2015
In the dark, you took off your life to try on someone else's,
You cried when it did not fit.
Next time, do the right thing : Choose yourself.
         - Eloghosa Osunde | @EloOsunde.
You see a million and one quotes on 'staying true to yourself' out there and I really don't think it can ever be overstated.
I've come to realize that as with almost everything else in life, even with blogging its easy to lose yourself.

Has anyone else noticed the recent 'In thing' in the "style blogging" world?
How it seems like there is a 'how to guide' for even the most ridiculous things that frankly doesn't need a how to.
This is just one aspect of it, there's also the other part where it seems like people start their blog to share their interests and then suddenly deviate into something else they know they truly aren't interested in doing, just because that's what they think sells currently and brings in the pageviews.
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with change and spicing things up.
I'm just saying the reasons for this change is what matters.
Are you doing it for you/your growth or because everyone is doing it?

A while back, I noticed a particular
'how to' type of outfit post on my bloglovin feed and even though I knew I was probably looking for trouble, I couldn't stop myself from immediately typing out how I felt in an email to the blogger.
I honestly wasn't expecting a reply or a 'mind your business' type of reply but this blogger replied back almost immediately telling me of how she also wasn't sure of the title, how it didn't go with her nature and how she was just using it because that's what everyone seemed to be doing. Then she proceeded to thank me for calling her out and that's when it hit me that this here thing is actually a real problem.

This year especially has found me gobbling up on major foreign big blogs and if you also follow those big blogs, you'll probably know that they are all about 'how to's' and tips to increasing page views and lots of other generic posts.
I honestly would also have been influenced if I wasn't such a lazy bum with not much energy to expend on doing things that don't align with what I'm about.
I recently tried doing that giant square instagram feed thing because I've been seeing it on a lot of IG accounts lately and it looked too cool but I immediately found out that it wasn't truly my thing so I didn't force it.

I feel like the main problem stems from when we start looking so deeply into the blogs/lives of others, rather than spending more time getting to know and improve on ourselves.

This definitely also applies in life generally and one way I try to avoid losing myself is by staying focused on my thing and tuning out of the noise from time to time.
Also reminding myself of the reasons why I started doing the things I'm doing helps and of course trying to keep any bad vibes (such as comparism) at bay.

How do you try to stay true to yourself with your content/in life generally especially In times of changing trends?

P.S - Before I started writing this post, I spent some time going through my blog and I was so happy to realize that every single post was something that was in line with what I'm about.
Can you say the same?
Have you ever tried to change yourself/ blog focus to “fit in”?

P.P.S - I have nothing against "how to's", I myself have done  and will probably still do some " how to" type of posts but I feel like most people just use it for the click bait property of it and especially for things that don't quite need a how to

Outfit || Prints And Bold Hues.

Wednesday, 23 September 2015
Starting off this post with some silly pictures of me which I think really reflects who I am - Easy going, fun, never entirely put together/taking life too serious, slightly awkward and somewhat comical.
Of course, there's the reclusive side of me also - The side that wants to just stay in bed and be left alone and finds expressing emotions all so difficult but its all part of the package and everyday I'm learning to love the parts of me that nobody claps for.
Learning, growing and becoming everyday.
This year has been really eye opening, I've learnt so many lessons - one of which is maximizing the little you have and not letting it be a barrier/excuse for not doing what you want.
If I tell you that for the most part, I blog with just my phone. I don't have a laptop and I can't make/do lots of the changes I'll like to make to this site but I still try to keep the blog going with the little I have regardless.

Do you know how much you can do with that "little wardrobe/I don't have much clothes complain" of yours?
Unconsciously, but I just noticed that somehow the theme of this year especially with outfit posts is really just me maximizing my wardrobe and therefore remixing/ rocking outfits in different ways.
The other day, I started out trying on a denim dress I bought and ended up with three cohesive looks put together with the dress being the center of it all.
Oh, I'm just too dope guys! (You guys don't tell me that enough so please let me flatter myself abeg)
This is yet another look from my "capsule wardrobe" project. I've worn this skirt previously here and also styled the shirt in this post as well.
I wore this to church on Sunday but with my shirt all buttoned up and my nude heels instead (which I still took off and exchanged for my green sandals).
At this point, let me just add that I think I need new (6ft&above gang) friends to go to church with. I hardly wear heels to church because I make my friends look like dwarfs when I do and I genuinely just realize how awkward it must be for them, seeing as they are guys. Lol

My sister bought both this shirt and skirt for me when she travelled to ATL and she just keeps looking at me like Dang, had I known! But what can I say?
If you ain't got this style thing , you just ain't got it, forget having all the clothes in the world. :p

What do you guys think?
How would you style this look differently?

Pictures by @Jerrie_Rotimi

Recently :

Style Crush || Sike Msuseni.

Sunday, 20 September 2015
Ah yes! Its a style crush post today and of course this also serves as some style inspiration for the new week.
Today's style crush gives me so much life and though this was one of those finds that you just want to keep to yourself because bae!, but I just had to share some of this goodness with you guys.
I came across Sike Msuseni recently on one of these increasingly rare days when the mother decided to pay for the WIFI at home and so I could afford to leisurely stroll through the streets of instagram, not only liking pictures of people I follow, but also checking out the other people in their pictures that I didn't know.
This was how I came across the lovely Sike - fashion stylist, and blogger over at all things intriguing.
It was love at first glimpse of her instagram page and I spent some more time scrolling through her feed, screen grabbing outfit inspiration for myself before finally going on the web to google more about her and read her blog.
Her style is right up my alley!! I mean, she's also about that vintage, head wrap/turban, androgyny, sock it up and sneakers life. Sisters or nah?
I think she's definitely a cool keed and I love how she reinforces just with her style that you don't have to be rich to have style. (Again, sisters or nah!?)

What do you guys think? Whose style have you been crushing on lately?
Tell Cassie!!! ^_^

In other unrelated talk, Today's message in church was too key! And I just want to encourage anyone that might be facing one trial or the other, that things might not be working out like you planned/pictured it right now but hang in there with praise/thanks in your heart and know that God Is working it out for you!

Have a great week guys and don't forget to leave me your thoughts in the comment box. 

          ||TWITTER || INSTAGRAM

Candid Talk With Wana Udobang.

Thursday, 17 September 2015
Hey Guys!
Today, I'm so excited to bring you the first feature in my new blog series 'Candid talk with'.
This is something I've been sitting on for a while now, waiting for perfect conditions to be able to deliver it in the exact way I had it planned in my head : a video chat series but because broke unemployed med school graduate (Read about my graduation/swearing the physician's oath here and my subsequent job hunt here), I decided to just start anyways.

I like to describe this blog as not just a "fashion/lifestyle blog", because its a bit more than that. One of the aims of my space is to inspire people (however cliche that might sound), to let them know that they aren't alone in their struggles hence the transparency in my life/musings posts and the choice of poetry I share here.

With this blog series, I plan to get influencers and people I find inspiring, to share some of their wisdom and stories, as it relates to life, love, and everything in between.

I met Wana Udobang (Wana Wana as she's popularly called) for the first time at the redefining beauty event which she put together with Glory Edozien, although I had already followed her on twitter prior and also read through her blog which I pleasantly found that I could relate with some of her write ups and poems.
I was really excited when she not only agreed to be featured on my blog but also replied and treated my emails in a timely manner. Thank you Wana for making me feel important small.
Wana Udobang is one prominent name in the arts/culture/entertainment scene. She is a radio presenter at inspiration FM, hosts the Airtel touching lives and is an ambassador for social causes (read her piece on the Mirabel rape crises centre for Aljazeera here)
Let's meet Wana!
Hi Wana, please can you define yourself and what you do :
I am a broadcaster, writer, poet, performer, documentary maker, filmmaker and curator. Fundamentally I am a storyteller and a creative busy body of sorts. I seek to educate, entertain, inform, inspire, change and transform. I am ambidextrous. I hate boxes and limitations. I am little over sensitive, very emotional yet easily detached and quite moody.

When will you say was the defining moment you realized you want to be doing what you're doing now?
I just remember my friend Tarella coming from her father’s funeral with all her hair shaved off as a child. She told me they had used a razor blade and then doused her head in alcohol and it didn’t seem normal to me. Then in a matter of weeks there was talk on our estate that relatives had come to take their cars and other things, not too long after the family had moved out. My own parents were also embroiled in quite a physically violent marriage before getting divorced. There was a certain shame and embarrassment as well as helplessness we experienced. I think from those moments I knew I wanted to talk about things nobody wanted to discuss. So those experiences were the very beginnings of everything for me. I felt that with journalism I could talk about things that we wouldn’t naturally talk about as a community but I think it has evolved into other mediums and fundamentally telling peoples stories.

On working your way to the top?
I don’t know that I am at the top, I think I am still trying to figure it out. All I know for now though is to stay consistent on your journey and open your mind because sometimes we get too stuck in an ideal of where we want to be and how we want to get there but sometimes I feel like the universe has many interesting plans so its important to be focused but an open mind is vital so you don’t miss the awesome moments. Sometimes those weird detours are leading you to where you are truly supposed to be.

What keeps you going through moments you feel you can't deal anymore?
I have a strong sense of purpose to why it is I am here and what my contribution is to the planet.  That has always kept me grounded and focused. So when I feel that way, I retreat and meditate. Spending time with yourself and getting re-acquainted with your inner self is so important. In that moment of isolation, I have to ask myself those questions again, why am I here? Why am I doing what I am doing?  Why am I really feeling the way I do? I must be able to answer those and retrace my steps and do whatever is necessary to attain that sense of balance. Also surrounding myself with things that move and inspire me.

Some of the things you struggle with and how are you working to overcome them?
I have so many interesting struggles like everyone else. Self doubt is a huge one. I am constantly plagued with feelings of not being good enough, experienced enough or learned enough. So with regards to that, I always set myself challenges and exercises and the more I scale through them, the more I affirm myself. I also rid myself of any kind of pressure by staying in a place of introspection. I realized my state of mind is crucial to how I see myself and assess my self worth.
Another weird struggle is the fear of being financially dependent on someone else. I grew up with everything and then it all fell apart when my parents marriage ended. So there is a chronic fear of having to need things from people so I have always built a self sustainable fortress in terms of a minimalist lifestyle, minimal debt, being entrepreneurial and living below my means so that I am always financially in the surplus. As much as I sound like I have it all figured out, the challenge is that it takes me longer to take certain risks that I should be taking and risks that should propel me further for fear of financial insecurity. But I have been reprogramming my brain for a while so it is getting better. So for every financial risk I take I try to have a little back up that way I don’t freak out too much.

What is the most significant experience in your journey and what you learnt from it?
Nigerians are special people and I love them for it. But for a very long time I always had people tell me I was too serious and I needed to do all sorts of things to be ‘Successful”. I needed to hang with certain kinds of people, be seen at certain places and do things a certain way. Everyone though well meaning seems to have a better sense or idea of who you should be other than yourself.  I have always had a strong sense of self, so stuck to my own sense of authenticity. When I look at where I am now even though I am a far cry from where I hope to be, I think just staying consistent with my own vision of myself has been the most vital lesson in my journey. Then remembering that I am on my own journey and not anyone else’s. Everyone goes home to his or her individual beds at night and I have to live with myself. So I have to be okay with that person when she is alone and no one else is looking. I choose to be inspired by people and their journeys but I don’t aspire to be like anyone.

Quick advice on love for twenty-somethings still trying to figure it out (from your own experience)..
- Enjoy the moment.
- Know what you are worth so you aren’t treated as anything less.
- The most important things you learn from relationships are about yourself, It’s part of your own evolving process.
- Be with someone whose company you really enjoy.
- You always have a choice in who you want to be with,  so don’t feel pity for yourself or the other person because you have a right to choose .
- Don’t stay in a miserable relationship, you aren’t doing yourself any favours.
- Don’t seek anyone to make you whole because it is just a recipe for disappointment so be find completion within yourself.
- Don’t apologise for who you are.
- Make sure no one makes you feel any less than you are. Be happy.
- Unrequited love is bullshit.

Best advice you've ever received.
Be grateful for your jihad

Random/ fun fact about you
I cry when I watch award show speeches. Not the bragadocious kinds though. Usually the Oscars and the Baftas
Thank you for granting me audience Wana and for sharing some of your wisdom with us.

I really enjoyed reading her replies and there were lots of takeaways for me. I could especially relate to the bit about Nigerians and the notion that you have to act in a certain way/go to all the events/hang out with a certain crowd to be successful.
Did you have any takeaways? Let me know please. Also is there anyone you'll like me to feature/questions you'll like me to include also? Please leave me your suggestions.

Connect with her : Blog | Twitter | IG

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